Well... Whoowh... I am very flatted by such lovely words. Not so sure to be pan sexual however. Just... Friend of humanity. But what I am about to say will probably gives you another point of view over me.
I heard in a film (which I love : Fighter In The Wind) that, what makes Miyamoto Musashi a very special warrior, is that he didn't just want to be a great warrior... He wanted to be the strongest. He practiced each day his philosophy and training for, with an endless will. That's the same purpose I feel animated by. I don't want to be a good people. I would be honored to be the wisest, the rightest. And maybe I will never be able to be that man... But following that purpose gives my life a so pure and great sense that whatever if I manage to be this man or not, I have never felt better than when I try to. It gives at the same time a sense to my future, and to my past. It gives a sense to that numerous failures and sufferings I had in life and the other ones I will have later.
I have been feeling depressed for a very long time for having been deeply emotionally dependant. I started to nourish at a moment a picture of that man I'd like to be, and another picture of a partner I would like to have. The first picture was my way to respect and honor all that values my relatives gave me till that very moment, to find an eternal purpose in life, something inextinguishable, to fight and cure my depression. And the second picture was a kinda reference, something to focus on to never stop fighting my inner demons and fears, to never stop hoping and believing. Loneliness taught me that this unique and valorous partner I would like to have, I will have to deserve him/her by being and giving the best I have in me, as much as I can.
Now, I'm still alone, but I like to think this is only because I am "not enough" yet to deserve that partner. However, that "philosophy "taught me to look far further the gender, trying to understand always deeper human nature, in order to help who I can, to accept and understand those I cross the road.
Isn't it conceited to think as I do ? I guess it is. When you don't like yourself at first, you would like and need the others to like you. I just try to be better to be more... liked, in fact. This is... kinda selfish, in some way. My only comfort is to share the best i can become with others to legitimate to be so conceited and unable to love myself without it. I feel like just being a "potential", something almost insignificant if I don't try to be better than just what I am now. I think this is maybe what people call "life". How to deserve to be loved... By giving the best of oneself, I guess.
But this is not very humble to think that way.