I agree with what has been said already.
Not all trans women want srs, but many do, and many are not comfortable with or have no desire to use their genitalia (your trans friend). There are also trans women that are comfortable and enjoy using theirs, and who's gender affirmation is more about what is presented to the world (with clothes on). Some women become more comfortable over time with having and using their penis, and others may suddenly want srs when never having wanted it before. Every shade and spectrum is out there. Your friend has not been inside the mind of every other trans woman.
I'm vers and have been in relationships with trans women that were vers, others I only topped, and others where I only bottomed. In my experience bottom only women are most common, followed by top only, and vers being least common and often just for the sake of pleasing a partner. My last LTR was a four year relationship, and my partner was 90% top. Regardless of how those roles played out in those relationships, all of those women wanted to feel like I would have loved them just the same if they'd had srs or weren't trans. It a a strange a paradox. If you make someone feel like you love them because of their genitalia, it's over.
You seem to already know finding a trans woman to date can be very difficult. Being in a LTR with trans partner brings many new challenges that you most likely haven't faced with a cis partner. Joe was on the mark, in that your unlikely to surmount those without a true friendship, common goals, etc..
This is just me speaking from my narrow band of experience in the past 15 years.
I hope you find someone that you are compatible with in many things including the bedroom