A web site for erotic stories called literotica has a forum where people post threads and comments on sex and related matters. It’s a relatively enlightened group of members but you still find old ideas about gender that never seem to die.
I always refer to my girlfriend or any transgender woman as a woman. Same for a transgender man - they are men.
Many people are still stuck at the crotch instead of the brain. Their views on gender begin and end with genitalia. The J.K. Rowling school of gender studies.
It will probably take the passing of a couple of generations before we can get beyond these old ideas. Sadly it won’t be in my lifetime but I have done what I could.