If you have ever wondered about this?

When I was chatting with transgender women on dating sites, depending on who I was talking to, they would complain that few guys were bottoms (or tops) or else they would complain that too many guys were bottoms (or tops). It seemed that whatever they were looking for there weren’t enough of them. So I was curious about these roles and how many people classified themselves on their sexual role. One site allows searches based on sexual role and the results were interesting.

Transgender women:
Top 5.0%
Vers 41.6%
Bottom 53.4%

Men seeking transgender women:
Top 40.3%
Vers 53.1%
Bottom 6.6%

As you can see it kind of balances out. Roughly there are about as many top transgender women as there are bottom guys.

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I am sure that someone is going to come along complaining, top, bottom, versa etc, what does it matter? Well, for many people it does matter and it’s really their primary filter. My girlfriend was not interested in anyone who was not a pure bottom - if you were a top or versa guy, she was never going to be with you. Period. End of conversation. Obviously there is so much more beyond that, but for her that was the starting point.

I find this very interesting! So why is it so hard for these people to get together with the right person? I would be thrilled with a girl like yours Escierto, but how in the world do you find one? If you go to the clubs there is a huge percentage of women you’d eventually have to ask what positions they prefer, only to find out you may not be a good fit. That would be cumbersome at best. Maybe the girls that prefer to top could wear a capital T pin on their shirt or something; or maybe they should never tuck…if you see it and want to be romantic with her, plan on taking it. No muss, no fuss.

On some of the dating sites, sexual role can be specified. On most, that’s not the case and it’s up to you to mention it in your profile. It can be a touchy subject and one I hated to bring up - it makes it look like that’s all that matters to you. I had more than one person unhappy about my preference and tell me that it shouldn’t matter. In my girlfriend’s case she was pretty direct in her profile stating she was active looking for passive. Of course that’s only the beginning to seeing if you are compatible.

It is a daunting process. I’m glad you’re on here to prove that it can work out. Not that there seems to be many people on here these days. I feel like you and I are talking in a huge auditorium with Cyril stopping by to encourage us occasionally. LOL!

It is a daunting process. I used to get very discouraged when I was looking. Sometimes I would take a break from it and then go back to it. Before my girlfriend I visited a different woman from Mindanao and arranged to meet her in Hong Kong. We had a good week together but the chemistry just wasn’t there for us to continue afterwards. It did confirm my sexual preferences however so that was good.

I have wondered what it would be like to spend a week with a woman like that. I will likely never know, but I’m glad someone has had that experience.

I spent eight days in Hong Kong with that woman. When that didn’t work out I went back to the dating sites and found my girlfriend. We chatted for almost a year before I visited her for three weeks. I had tickets to see her for another few weeks in July but that went up in smoke.

Why won’t you have that experience?

Because I am a man with a wonderful wife in 75% of the aspects of marriage. That other 25% is the sexual stuff, and that small of a percentage is not enough of a reason to destroy something that has worked so well everywhere else. So I dream and fantasize about a passionate woman such as yours Escierto and pray for your happiness and thank you for the little morsels of delight you share. Go live my dream of 100%!

I see where you are coming from. Have you ever talked to her about your desires? Or would that not be possible?

She knows and we’ve talked about it. She is very introverted and that makes the intimacy of regular sex a challenge, throw in a strap on and the request to be someone else and the poor thing is just lost. I’ve never asked her for a ‘hall pass’ to go try a woman like I dream of and probably never will. She is a very good woman, the mother of my children and a damn good partner in almost all other aspects. Finding a woman who checked the sex box only to loose everything else I have is not a good gamble to me.

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Good explanation. You are a good husband.

I’m actually surprised that Vers is so high because for many trans women taking on the male role triggers gender dysphoria.

Thank you. I’m trying.

I think many say that they are versa but they are really bottoms when you talk to them. There are very few like my girlfriend who has never bottomed and never wants to bottom. I have asked her about gender dysphoria but she is happy with her penis yet says that she has always been a girl.

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You truly have found the needle in the haystack! I’m so happy for you! A little envious too, but mostly happy! LOL!

I have had guys ask me if I want to share her as though she was a dog or a piece of equipment. Really? I tell them neither one of us wants to share. Maybe down the road but it would be a long time before either one of us wants something extra to spice things up. Then I have been hit on by guys (cyber speaking) who figure if I want a girl with something extra maybe I would be interested in a guy. Nope it’s gotta be a woman I tell them.

Share?! WTF?! You just found the goose that lays the golden pipe and some sorry ne’er-do-well wants to take the easy route and share with you? I say nay brother! Tell them gently but sternly to find their own slice of perfection!! And I am 1000% behind it’s gotta be a woman in all facets, except for the one. :wink:

I have a friend who is non-binary, whenever they are presenting as female their sexual role is submissive bottom and only have sex with males; and whenever they are presenting as male their sexual role is top and only have sex with females. Sexuality and gender identity, aren’t we humans a unique bunch :slightly_smiling_face:

That’s very interesting. You are right. There is so much variety in human sexuality. My girlfriend and I always say it’s a good thing we are the way we are because we match each other. If there were no straight male bottoms what would the transgender tops do?