Introducing myself heres my story

Hello everyone Im Chris and im Trans attracted. A little about me Im 23 and in my 3rd year of University im also a reservist with the Canadian Army. I was born in the Southern African Nation of Zimbabwe however I left at the age of 7 and moved to America, growing up in a little town called Longview,TX. In 2008 I moved to Canada and have become a Canadian citizen…although i consider America my home .

I first discovered about transwomen through watching a series on National geographic called Taboo when i was only 12 It was my first experience knowing about the complexities of Sexuality and gender and in the particular episode of Taboo it featured trans women from the pacific rim known as the fafafine in this episode i also learned about the concept of third gender across the world. I also would stay up late to watch Jerry Springer which looking back i found was pretty exploitive to transgendered people. Even as a kid from a very conservative culture i took it upon myself to read up on gender and sexuality. By the time i entered high school i began to question pretty much everything i was taught by my parents and community(I was bought up in a religious household and was taught to be a good christian). It all came to head when out of curiosity i watched Shemale-porn at 13 and i found myself really aroused but then i had this sense of guilt and shame and went through a depression trying to come to terms with what i just looked at and my arousal to it. My biggest fear was that i might be gay and in the Zimbabwean community as in many Africa cultures homosexuality is pretty much a death sentence even being accused of being gay or not fitting in the hyper-masculine culture can create real problems.
So in High school i had a double life in public around my peers and around members of my community i would be the religious guy everyone in the community looked up too however at night i went on the porn sites to look at trans-women. After High school i broke up with my religious off and on girlfriend and began a journey of discovery and im still on that journey im learning to deal with the fear of loving a trans-women and i have even told my sister about my attraction and she has supported me 100% as for everyone else close friends,relatives,ect they know nothing of my preference and to be honest most of them i dont care to tell them because ive always been private with my relationships and knowing my culture most wouldnt understand so i live my regardless with no regrets…However i have made it clear to myself i wont tolerate trans phobic comments and have schooled my friends on saying such comments. Im so glad i found this website because now i know im not the only guy who loves women for who they are and is fighting back against the absurd standards society has placed which makes people unable to be who they are and to love who they want to love. Hope to hear from you guys and to make friends! :sunglasses:

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Hi Cj and welcome! Quite a strong story you put up. I can relate to some of the process and acknowledge. However what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Thanks Morten!!! i couldnt agree more brother cheers!

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Hey chris great story. I admire you journey and feel your struggle I am around your age(22) i’m caribbean and our culture can also be very rigid thankfully I was not raised religous. I too was introduced to tran women through early documentaries and then porn at age 13. I’m glad to see more young black males who can acept their attractions. Unlik you I have mostly told friends as oposed to my siblings.
My mom is more liberal these days I think she’d be fine with me ending up with a trans women as long as I have kids.

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Thanks brother for the kind words i agree. Have you come out to your mom? Because i havent reached that point yet…but i know im gonna do it and i would love some advice on how to do it. Im lucky me and my sister are close and she has supported me 100% my half brothers and my half sisters…those guys i fear wont be understanding because my older half-brother is a hypo-masculine type dude the other half-siblings tend not to question things and blindly follow what the culture has taught without question smdh.

Hello and Salutations.

Hello to you too brother!!! cheers

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Man that’s an inspiring story. Welcome here :smiley:

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Whoowh ! :slight_smile: What a story ! I know a bit what involves to be raised in religious principles (but fortunately I escape the religious community, I just kept the humble and love principles of that religion I’ve been raised in), my mom was a kinda catholic sympathizer, wishing me and my bro to pray at night and all that stuff.

As many already told ya, it needed you to be courageous for having come here to show yourself. (I will just repeat myself, but this is something you should already value, in your self-esteem)

I remember the first time we fell over a transgender porn movie with my brother. On the one hand we were really anxious to be caught by our mother at the moment, but on the other hand I’ll never forget the feeling I had when my bro was just criticizing the girl on the movie, almost laughing out loud ridiculously… I was really disappointed and fearing that he could discover why I wasn’t laughing at the moment like he did. Let’s say it was really “visible”. But I don’t know why, except that I was afraid on the moment, it was just too pleasant for me to just try to escape from myself pretending that the girl doesn’t had any effect on me. Plus, I’m not good at lying. :stuck_out_tongue:

Now that I think about it, I guess it was my luck that me and he were living like rivals at the moment. There were things that we didn’t had to share so… maybe it helped a lot to just don’t care about sharing it and enjoy.

I am a bit curious now… Have you, guys, also your favorite ones ? Like Kimber James ? Ladyboy Rose ? Or Nina Lawless ? :smile: (I don’t really know what gender people could tell they are however) I still got some folders with their names… Sounds a bit ridiculous now than I mention it…

I had a crush on Amy Amour :blush:

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Amy Amour ? Whoowh, I didn’t know about her… I should have a look at one day. I’m curious now :slight_smile:

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my favourite was camilla de castro…she was a beauty RIP my next favourite is patricia arujo :blush:

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That’s right to say Camilla was very good looking. She had very nice eyes… But… RIP ? Is she dead ? Patricia Araujo is also beautiful but less my kind than Camilla de Castro.

yeah she passed away by suicide :frowning: but yeah i agree her eyes were cute she will missed

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Your story is really strong. I can’t say anything more. :slight_smile:

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