Submission and dominance

Since my girlfriend is a pure top and I am a pure bottom, our relationship always makes me think think about the psychology of dominance and submission.

Outside of the bedroom, I could probably be described as assertive but respectful. I have strong opinions but I am not judgmental. My girlfriend is independent and does not like to be controlled or told what to do. However she does seek my guidance and sometimes she actually does want me to tell her what to do. I always refuse but instead try to guide her in coming to her own decisions.

In the bedroom, I always let her decide what to do, how to do it and when to do it. For me, her sexual pleasure and satisfaction is always the main priority in our lovemaking. For example, while I was visiting her, she had 31 orgasms and I had 3 (yes I am OCD). Actually it would have been fine if I had had none at all because they mattered so little to me.

There is a saying that the desire of the man is for the woman but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man. I can definitely relate to the woman in that equation. If my girlfriend has a satisfying orgasm, then I know that she desired me and I was a good partner for her in helping her have her orgasm.

When we are together virtually, I admire the strength and power of her sexual desire and I delight in seeing the results of our efforts together afterwards. It makes me think that I am worthy of her and an excellent lover for such a beautiful woman. When her desire is satisfied then my desire for her desire is also satisfied and we are both happy.

I’ve never heard it put that way, but it makes total sense hearing it now. I am also very much like this with the women I have been with over the years. Loosing myself in them and focusing on their pleasures and thrilling with joy when I hear them moaning and writhing in erotic release. I look at a woman and wonder what she would look like as I’m giving her an orgasm.

You sound like you are happiest when you give pleasure. I was the same way with the cis female partners in my life - it was always much more important to give than to receive. It definitely leads a man to develop certain skills when that’s the case. Orally speaking lol

I didn’t get around enough to know if I was any better than anyone else on that front, but at least I didn’t get any complaints. LOL!