The first question

When guys ask me for advice on dating trans-women, the first questions they always ask me is “Where.” “Where can I find trans women to date?”
Actually they generally ask me in a much more crude and un-gentlemanly fashion but we’ll leave that discussion for another time.
My response is always the same. I tell them to “Settle down sparky. You’re asking the wrong question.” (Not you Sparky. It’s just a term I use fairly often)
The first question you need to ask isn’t “Where do I find trans-women?” It’s “How do I become the man she needs.”
Even if I tole you where to find trans- women the information would be of no use to you and in fact it would probably be detrimental to you and your progress with the women you’re interested in. If you approach trans women with no idea what you’re doing and not being the man she needs in her life, you’re going to blow some potentially beautiful relationships. So first focus on yourself.
In the army they teach medics to treat themselves first and then treat the rest of their platoon. You’re no use to anyone else if you’re messed up.
So in order to be the man she needs you to be you have to have a good relationship with yourself and have your life together.
You need to have a good job and be able to pay your bills plus have enough left over to take her out sometimes. It doesn’t have to be fancy but you need to show her that you can take care of yourself.
You need to have your a good relationship with your body. You need to eat healthy and do some sort of exercise. If you don’t respect your own body it tells her that you won’t respect hers.
You need to cultivate your mind. Turn off the TV and read a book (I’m publishing one soon that would be great for you to read! #shamelessplug)
You need to develop a social circle. If you don’t have any friends there’s usually a reason why. Get out and meet people.
There are many other things a gentleman needs to do to be the man she needs but that should be enough to get you started.
If you do all these things, when you finally meet her, she’ll wonder why someone hasn’t snatched you up yet.


Good general dating advice! I will emphasise on it by adding the following: the trans community is pretty small, so when you’re being an asshole to one trans woman (or let’s say, you’re acting like a “chaser” with her), your bad reputation will spread quickly.

That should give you second thoughts if your plan is only to experience sex with a TS, then go for prostitutes, there are plenty, and this is a service that deserves to be paid.

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Be honest, true, ethical, genuin (your strenght and weakness), gentle and humble.

Remember she’s for real. No bull shit. If you play the game of love, you may get lucky and cash in full pot. How to play the game of love is congenital for most.

Follow your heart. Ignore thoughts about consequenses. If it feels right, you’re likely on your right path. A straight guy doesn’t have to defend why. Why should he? We can’t explain. No need to explain why your girl friend is a TG. It’s the way it is. Deal with it. Take it or leave it. I can’t explain for myself why my girl friend is a TG. I just accept that’s the way I am.

Life should be lived. Life shouldn’t to be explained.