This is just a little a rant because I’m just frustrated at this point. So the other day I was on a trans dating website and happened to meet a cute girl who was from British Columbia we ended up talking however something inside my head just seemed off about the whole thing, getting to know the girl seemed frustrating because she moved the conversation quite quickly to other topics without really answering any of the questions I had for her to get to know her. Eventually she asked to go on cam so we can arrange a meeting which I was cool with however I told her my cam wasn’t working and then she sent me a link to a unknown website. She would tell me to sign up and when I got to the sign up page I saw it asked for the credit card#. So I’m thinking to myself why do I have to go through all this just to arrange a meeting with this girl. I asked her if she had an iPhone in which I can facetime her or something, she told me she doesn’t use iPhone and was adamant I sign up for this website that’s when red flags popped up I’m my head and I politely declined in which then she started pulling at my heartstrings and using all the manuvours to get me to sign up which further cemented my belief that this was a scam, eventually I just stopped replying and told her that I’m not gonna do it ect and she even offered to help me sign up(another red flag) I don’t know guys this isn’t the first time this has happened and I’m gonna be honest the first time I fell for it and ended up in shit with my bank. I just wanted to rant about this because it makes me so mad because at first glance I thought I had gotten lucky but turns out I was gonna get scammed again…be careful out there guys
I hear you brother. I’ve had this happen to me several times. Although I’ve never had them play the long game like they did with you. They usually ask me to sign up to their website within a few messages.
Like you guys I also have problems, here are a couple of simple rules that I follow:
- I don’t pursue long-distance relationships: Although ‘staying local’ drastically reduces the available number of possible dates, my odds of being scammed are also greatly reduced.
- I never reveal any deep personal data to someone until I meet them face-to-face and develop a level of trust.
- I use search engines to check out any possible dates, including uploading their photo on a reverse search engine such as google image reverse.
- I’m immediately suspicious if someone wants to start communicating through IM or e-mail within a very short time of meeting them on a dating site.
- I pay attention to the language someone uses. I feel sorry for those who are genuine but if their written English is poor, that’s a big red flag waving away. And although I have dated soldiers, someone who claims to be a lonely soldier in a war zone, or just back from one, is also a red flag.
- And this last rule is a very important rule – especially for you guys. Don’t fall for the sob story! You guys are trying to show an affiliation with transgender people and the issues we face, this makes it easy to lay an ever-so-sad-sob-story onto you and scam you for your hard-earned money. Yes, the issues of discrimination, poverty, homelessness and employment are real, but being scammed by believing you are paying to make our lives better isn’t a great outcome for you or us. If you really want to show your support for the rights of trans-people to exist and live in a world without discrimination, harassment, isolation and violence be an advocate and continue to love and care for us for who we are because doing this means way, way more us.
I have found that scammers are just as common on paid and unpaid dating sites, so regardless of which dating site you are using have fun and stay safe in your dating life.